please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
