I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
