Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
