GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
