I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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