I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
