I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I could fuck to npr.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
