had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
