Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
