Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
