Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
