how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
