We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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