Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
only if we run a train.
done.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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