So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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