you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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