Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
