none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
