I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
