I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
