k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need to sanitize my soul.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
