just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
