Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
