you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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