I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
