so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
