i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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