Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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