I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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