I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
