Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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