I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
