I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
