we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
