We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
