Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His hands were made for my vagina.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
