I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
