I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
