rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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