what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
