Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
