see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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