He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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