haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
