We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
