Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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