I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
