About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
