This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
