Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
