yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
