I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
