I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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