Its about making memories worth repressing
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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