mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
