Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the raccoons are back...
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