brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
