yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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